Despicable Me- Perplexing
by Saurus the Trouble Lister
Summary: It is nearly Christmas time, but all is not well. So listen, kind people, to the story I tell. It's a tale of vengeance and love, and two turtle doves. Enjoy my Despicable story.


**Hello, everyone! This is my first fanfic, but I will do my best, like everyone else does. Just keep in mind that I specialize in journalism, not fiction or fanfiction. But here it goes. Enjoy.**

ZZZZ! A sickening, molten surge of energy swept through the boy' s bloodstream as he suddenly awoke from his artificially induced coma, crying out in pain.

"Bridges!" shouted a grating and impatient voice. "Wake up. _Now_!"

The boy, Bridges, opened his eyes, tasted the metallic after scent of electrical burns, and looked up to see his captors.

The man who had spoke was an African American wearing a full suit, a clean and short haircut, a Hitler mustache, and a facial expression of hatred.

Beside him stood a very strange looking woman. She had red hair that was pulled back in a bun with bungs. She had large green eyes, fair skin and freckles. Her curved nose was fairly large in comparison to her face. Her body was sickeningly thin. She wore a short turquoise dress that reached down to her knees. She wore super high heeled strapped sandal shoes with heels that were an impossible six inches high.

Standing beside the woman, with an expression just as hateful as the one the African American man had, stood a tall, bald man with blue eyes, a long nose and a broad, powerful physique. He was dressed in a black collared coat along with a striped scarf, black trousers, and shoes.

Bridges coughed before he responded. "Mr. Henderson. I don't remember asking for a wake up call."

Henderson, the African American man, growled, "I run a correctional facility, not a hotel."

"You should, though. I spent my entire life in here, and I rather enjoyed myself. Except for this part with the electric chair."

"SHUT UP, BOY!" Henderson pressed the button and sent another surge of electricity through his prisoner. As the boy's screams rang out again, he continued. "Now is not the time for your games. We need you to talk."

"Really? You just sent six thousand and fifty - one volts of electricity through me for talking. And how are you and your wife today, Mr. Gru?"

The bald man, Gru, didn't respond. He just continued to stare at him, waiting for him to break.

This was slightly perturbing. Gru's expression hadn't changed at all while he was being shocked. He had gotten to him after all.

"I, uh... I see."

"You know why you are here, Bridges." bellowed Henderson. "Now give us a location."

Bridges smiled at their futile attempts to break him. How desperate they must be! Secretly, this irritated him, and he couldn't understand it. He had been wrong about them. "You still don't know how this works, do you? I won't just tell you where they are."

"Why, you little cockroach." Henderson growled, reaching for the button for the electric chair again.

But the woman turned to Henderson, snatched the remote and tossed it into the corner.

"Lucy!" The warden was furious. "What are you doing?!"

"If you keep doing that, he might pass out." she explained. "Besides, torturing a kid is just, well, wrong."

Finally, Gru spoke. "He kidnapped the girls! And almost all my Minions."

"If wasn't that hard. The Minions love me."

"Look, just tell us where Margo, Edith and Agnes are." Gru told him, pointing his finger at him dangerously.

But Bridges was adamant. "No. You'll have to play my little game if you want to get them back, Gru. Solve the puzzle, and you will find them and your Minions. Whether or not they want to leave with you is another story."

His interrogators stared at each other for a moment, thinking it over. Oh, how delightful this was, watching them try and decide the little dilemma he had for them. They knew that they couldn't trust him, but they wanted their precious girls back. Oh, it was delicious!

After a moment of silence, Gru finally snapped. "Alright! Alright, fine. Oh, I just knew you were trouble from the start. I just knew it!"

"Yes, I know you did." Bridges purred. "Now, get me Councilman Wilson."

Henderson didn't understand. "Not until you tell us where the girls are, Bridges."

"And I already said that I won't be telling you. Frankly, I'm surprised that my request hasn't told you."

"Woah, woah, woah." Gru caught on. "Why would it?"

"See? I thought you were supposed to be a genius, Gru," the boy taunted. "You have a puzzle to put together here, and you already have all of the pieces. You just need to figure out how to put them together."

But Gru wasn't really willing to take this game. "Why don't you put it together for us?"

"Call Councilman Wilson and I will."

After he saw the looks on his compatriots' faces, Henderson began to almost panic. "Gru, no! You can't risk it. The drones are still out there. The city is on lock down. If the National Guard can't do anything-"

"Oh, don't you worry about the Councilman." Bridges interrupted. "He'll be perfectly safe."

"Safe?!" Henderson ' s voice cracked with outrage. "Those things wiped out a convoy! They shot down helicopters, blew up tanks-"

"You are wasting time, Henderson." Gru snapped. "The girls need us to do this."

Bridges began to laugh. "You say that as if they are in danger. Do you know something that I don't after all?"

"I know that I'm getting sick of this." Gru admitted.

"I'll bet. No, your daughters are safe, for now. In fact, they couldn't be in a safer place right now."

"And where is that?" Lucy tried again to press the matter.

Bridges was getting tired of repeating himself. "I will not tell you, but I can help you figure it out. Understand?" He waited a little while, then turned to face Henderson. "Go call the Councilman, would you?"

"No. I want to be here to see if what you will tell us adds up."

"I'll call him." said Lucy with the slightest hint of a sigh. "And I'll see if I can get in touch with Ramsbottom. We need his help to defeat the drones."

After she left, Gru decided to play. "Okay, go ahead and tell us what we need to know to solve this little 'puzzle' of yours."

A smile spread across Bridges' face. "I knew you'd see things my way."

"Oh, no, no, no, no," he insisted. "You and I will never see things the same way because you are crazy. And I'm not."

"Are you sure? Now, I'll start at the beginning. Remember when you all first met me?"


End file.
